Wednesday at 1 pm CT
The call in number for this meeting is 605-313-5302, code 819585#.
Click here for international access info.
You may also join with the FreeConferenceCall.com app using the meeting ID violenceanonymous or click/tap here to join on the web.
1. Introduction
(Moderator Mutes the Line at the start of the meeting to remove the automated prompt telling people to announce themselves when they join the line. You must enter on the leader code to mute the line. To mute the line press *5 and select Option 1.)
“Good day, my name is _____ and I will be your moderator today. This meeting is for persons who have been victims, perpetrators and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence.”
2. Serenity prayer
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“You may mute and un-mute your phone by pressing *6. If you are not sharing, please make sure that your phone is muted.”
3. “May I please get a volunteer to read the Preamble for Violence Anonymous?”
4. “May I please get a volunteer to read the A Word To Newcomers?”
5. “May I please get a volunteer to read How It Works?”
6. Member Introduction
“At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.”
7. Weekly Format
Every Week: 20-minute Speaker (Someone who has worked the 12 Steps in VA)
If there is no Speaker, then the Chair picks a topic, and the corresponding Additional Reading is read by a volunteer.
(List of Additional Readings)
| Boundary Styles | Child Abuse (short) |
| Drama Triangle Roles (short) | Nurturing Children (short) |
| Tools of Violence Anonymous | Creator (short) |
| Drama Triangle (short) | Traditions (short) |
| Non Violence – NEW | Violence (short) |
| Signs of Victimhood (short) | Promises of VA (short) |
Last Week of the Month: There is a business meeting after the meeting.
8. Sharing
“Would someone be willing to be timekeeper?” The shares are a total of 3 minutes long with a 1-minute warning after 2 minutes. (Note: Timekeeper using the mute button on their phone may work more smoothly than using *6 to mute & un-mute.)”
“Now is the time for individual sharing. We ask that there be no cross talk – which means that we keep the focus on ourselves, address our remarks to the group and not to any individual. Please refrain from making remarks during another person’s share, and save questions and comments for after the meeting. Explicit descriptions of violence and/or violent fantasies can be triggering to other members of the meeting. When sharing about violent fantasies, we put our focus on our powerlessness over the fantasy and the feelings that trigger the belief of victimhood. Shares are 3 minutes long. Please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the one minute warning and the word “time” at the end of your share. You may mute and un-mute your phone by pressing *6. For those who are not sharing, please make sure that your phone is muted. We are now open for discussion.”
9. Contact Requests (At 10 minutes before the close of the meeting)
“Now is the time for contact (phone #, email, Skype) requests. Please state who’s contact info you would like and we will exchange info after the closing of the meeting.”
10. 7th Tradition
“Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship. Contributions may be made on the 7th Tradition page on the website. We will now pause to give those who wish to time to find the donate button on the 7th Tradition page. (Pause for 3 seconds.) If you can’t give now, just keep coming back. We need you more than we need your money. We’re just glad you are here with us in the Fellowship.”
11. Tools
Read the short form of the Tools of Violence Anonymous.
“We take the next few minutes of the meeting for each person to share the tools they will use in the upcoming week to avoid playing the victim, rescuer and/or perpetrator.”
12. VA Related Announcements
“Now is the time for both VA and non-VA announcements.
First are there any VA announcements that affect this meeting or VA as a whole?
“If you are willing to sponsor…please give your contact info after the close of the meeting so we may be able to connect you with newcomers and others, who are seeking sponsorship. If you are a VA member in need of a sponsor, please stay after and provide your contact info, and a VA sponsor coordinator will contact you soon.”
Are there any non-VA announcements about tools or outside resources that pertain to VA recovery?
Is anyone celebrating an anniversary of months or years attending VA they would like to share with us?”
13. Closing
“The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.”
“The line will remain open after the meeting for fellowship. Will all who care to join me in the serenity prayer?”
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
14. Contact exchange and fellowship
“Those persons whose contact info was requested can be shared now.”