- Emotional misery: When we experience emotional misery we might be in victimhood. Thinking like a victim creates negative emotions. When we are feeling resentful, angry, hurt, betrayed, anxious, depressed, guilty, ashamed, or other negative emotions, it is likely that we are playing the victim role on the Drama Triangle.
- Whining and complaining: When we whine or complain mentally or verbally, we are seeing and judging life through the eyes of a victim. Some examples are “Life is not fair”, “I’m being mistreated”, or “It shouldn’t be this way.”
- Judgmental thinking: Making judgments about ourselves or others indicates that we are on the drama triangle and acting as persecutors and/or rescuers. These judgments are more charged than a simple discernment.
- Using victim vocabulary: “I can’t handle it.” “I’ll show them.” Or “It’s not fair.” Using “Always” & “Never” to describe a situation.
- Constant Melodrama: Melodrama is an indicator that we are in victim consciousness. One example is when we seek to be “right” over being at peace.
- Comparing ourselves in critical ways: Comparing is a form of judgmental thinking. When we are in a state of victimhood we critically compare ourselves with others. “Why should I even try, I’ll never be as good as them.” “They are stupid.” “I’m bad.”
- Blaming others: Anytime we blame something outside of ourselves for our internal experience we are acting as victims.
*Inspired by Lynne Forrest’s Signs of Victimhood