Sundays 9 AM CT
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Meeting ID: 838 2625 9603 Passcode: Sunday
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1. Introduction
“Good day, my name is _____ and I will be your moderator today. This meeting is for persons who have been victims, perpetrators and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence.”
2. Serenity Prayer
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
“You may mute and un-mute with the microphone button on your screen, *6 on your phone, or the mute button on your phone. If you are not sharing, please make sure that your phone is muted.”
(Leader asks for a Volunteer to read the following readings. If no one volunteers, leader will read)
3. Read the Preamble for Violence Anonymous
4. Read A word to newcomers
5. Read how it works
6. Read the Tradition of the month (click here for The VA 12 Steps and Traditions)
7. Member Introduction
“At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.”
8. The 5 Weekly Formats
Week 1: Speaker Meeting
VA member speaks for 15 minutes on their experience, strength and hope in VA.
a. “This week is a speaker meeting. After we read a short additional reading we will be asking for someone to qualify for 15 minutes on their experience strength and hope in VA.”
b. (Read or ask someone to read a short additional reading.)
c. “Is there someone who would like to qualify for 15 minutes on their VA experience?”
d. “Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(go to #9 in the format)
Week 2: Tools Meeting
VA member shares for 5 minutes on tool of their choice.
a. “This week is a tools meeting. After we read tools 1 through 9 in their long form we will be asking for someone to share for 5 minutes on a tool of their choice.”
b. (Read or ask someone to read the long form of tools 1 through 9.)
c. “Is there someone who would like to share for 5 minutes on tool of their choice?”
d. “Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(go to #9 in the format: no Additional Reading.)
Week 3: Step Meeting
VA member speaks on the step of the month
a. “This week is a step meeting. After we read an additional reading we will be asking for someone who has worked this step in VA to speak for 10 minutes on the step of the month.”
b. (Read or ask someone to read an additional reading.)
c. “Is there someone who would like to speak for 10 minutes on the step of the month?” (If not we read the step from the AA 12&12.)
d. “Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(go to #9 in the format)
Week 4: Tools Meeting
VA member shares for 5 minutes on tool of their choice.
a. “This week is a tools meeting, so after we read the long form of the VA tools 10 through 18 we will be asking for someone to share for 5 minutes on tool of their choice.”
b. (Read or ask someone to read long form of tools 10 through 18)
c. “Is there someone who would like to share for 5 minutes on tool of their choice?”
d. “Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(go to #9 in the format: no Additional Reading.)
Week 5: Tradition Meeting
a. “This week is a traditions meeting. After we read an additional reading we will be asking for someone to speak for 5 minutes on the traditions in general or a tradition of their choice”
b. (Read or ask someone to read an additional reading.)
c. “Is there someone who would like to speak for 5 minutes on the traditions in general or a tradition of their choice?” [If not we read a tradition from the AA 12&12.]
d. “Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(go to #9 in the format)
Links to Additional Readings:
| Boundary Styles | Child Abuse (short) |
| Drama Triangle Roles (short) | Nurturing Children (short) |
| Tools of Violence Anonymous | Creator (short) |
| Drama Triangle (short) | Traditions (short) |
| Non Violence – NEW | Violence (short) |
| Signs of Victimhood (short) | Promises of VA (short) |
9. Sharing
Now is the time for individual sharing.
We ask that there be no cross talk – which means that we keep the focus on ourselves, address our remarks to the group and not to any individual. Please refrain from making remarks during another person’s share, and save questions and comments for after the meeting. Explicit descriptions of violence and/or violent fantasies can be triggering to other members of the meeting. When sharing about violent fantasies, we put our focus on our powerlessness over the fantasy and the feelings that trigger the belief of victimhood. Shares are 3 minutes with a 1 minute warning. Please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the one minute warning and the word “time” at the end of your share. You may mute and un-mute with the microphone button on your screen, *6 on your phone, or the mute button on your phone. If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted. Who would like to share first?”
At about 15 minutes before the closing of the meeting ask “Are there any newcomers or returning members who would like to share at this time?”
(If not, return to regular shares.)
At about 10 minutes before the close of the meeting:
10. 7th Tradition
“Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship. PayPal contributions may be made on the 7th Tradition page on the VA website.”
11. VA Related Announcements
“Now is the time for both VA and non-VA announcements. First are there any VA announcements that affect this meeting or VA as a whole? Are there any non-VA announcements about tools or outside resources that pertain to VA recovery?” (Announce the Business Meeting on 3rd Sunday)
12. Tools
(Read short form of the Tools of Violence Anonymous. Even on Tools meeting weeks)
“We take the next few minutes of the meeting for each person to share the tools they will use in the upcoming week to avoid playing the victim, rescuer and/or perpetrator.”
13. Contact Requests
“Now is the time for contact (phone #, email, skype) requests. Please state who’s contact info you would like and we will exchange info after the closing of the meeting.”
14. Closing
“The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.”
“The room will remain open after the meeting for fellowship.”
“Will all who care to join me in the Serenity Prayer?”
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
15. Contact exchange and fellowship
Those persons whose contact info was requested can be shared now.