Saturdays 8 AM CT
This meeting will be changing its access method on 4/22/2023 to:
The call in number for this meeting is 605-313-5302, code 819585#.
Click here for international access info.
You may also join with the FreeConferenceCall.com app using the meeting ID violenceanonymous or click/tap here to join on the web.
1. Introduction
(When moderating, using the mute button on your phone may work more smoothly than *6.)
“Good day, my name is _____ and I will be your moderator today. This
meeting is for persons who have been victims, perpetrators and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence.”
2. Serenity prayer
“God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
“You may mute and un-mute your phone by pressing *6. If you are not sharing, please make sure that your phone is muted.”
3. Ask a Volunteer to read the Preamble for Violence Anonymous
4. Read or ask a Volunteer to read: A word to newcomers (it’s on the Resources page too)
5. Ask a volunteer to read how it works
6. Member Introduction
“At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.”
Week 1: Speaker Meeting
a. “This week is a speaker meeting. After we read a short additional reading we will be asking for someone to qualify for 10-12 minutes on their experience strength and hope in VA and using Safety Plans.”
b. “Is there someone who would like to qualify for 10-12 minutes on their VA experience?”
c. Go to #8 in the format
Week 2-5: Open discussion.
7. Ask a Volunteer to read one Additional Reading
| Boundary Styles | Child Abuse (short) |
| Drama Triangle Roles (short) | Nurturing Children (short) |
| Tools of Violence Anonymous | Creator (short) |
| Drama Triangle (short) | Traditions (short) |
| Non Violence – NEW | Violence (short) |
| Signs of Victimhood (short) | Promises of VA (short) |
8. Sharing
First, Read Safety Plan:
“The safety plan tool helps us prepare for the moment-by-moment challenge of remaining free from the drama triangle and abstaining from violent thought and behavior. When we create a safety plan we identify ahead of time what VA tools we can use in a potentially triggering situation and what steps we will take, should a trigger (our own or another’s) catch us by surprise. A plan for physical safety may include a clear intention and willingness to change location if a situation threatens to escalate, keeping spare keys, clothing and money where we can access them quickly if needed. With a safety plan in place, in the heat of the moment we can grab hold of the VA program…and each time we do, we feel our feet more solidly on the ground of our new life.”
“Would someone be willing to be timekeeper?” (Guide timekeeper on how long shares are. 3 min share / 3 min feedback with 1 minute warnings)
“This is a feedback meeting. We do not interrupt during another person’s share. We do not rescue by giving unsolicited advice. We do provide feedback for those who request it. If you would like feedback specific to something that you share in the meeting, please request it at the close of your share. Our group conscience states that we give feedback as it relates to working VA’s 12 Steps or is based on our experience of recovery in Violence Anonymous. Please keep the focus of your share on yourself through the use of “I” statements instead of “we” or “you.” Shares are 3 minutes in length with 3 minutes for feedback. Please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the one minute warning and the word “time” at the end of your share and feedback time.
“You may mute and un-mute your phone by pressing *6. If you are not speaking, please make sure that your phone is muted. We are now open for discussion.”
9. 7th Tradition (At 10 minutes before the close of the meeting)
Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship. Contributions may be made on the 7th Tradition page on the website.
10. Tools
Read the titles of the Tools of Violence Anonymous.
“We take the next few minutes of the meeting for each person to share the tools they will use today to avoid playing the victim, rescuer and/or perpetrator.”
11. Contact Requests
“Now is the time for contact (phone #, email, Skype) requests. Please state who’s contact info you would like and we will exchange info after the closing of the meeting.”
12. VA Related Announcements
Now is the time for both VA and non-VA announcements.
a. First are there any VA announcements that affect this meeting or VA as a whole? (Chair announces the need for a chair for the following month.)
b. Are there any non-VA announcements about tools or outside resources that pertain to VA recovery?
c. NOTE TO CHAIR: The business meeting is conducted on the first Saturday of each quarter (January / April / July / October), and the chair of that month is responsible for chairing that business meeting.
13. Closing
“The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time. The line will remain open after the meeting for fellowship. Will all who care to join me in the serenity prayer?”
14. Contact exchange and fellowship
Those persons whose contact info was requested can be shared now.