Mondays at 2 pm CT
This is a Zoom meeting. Tap or Click here to join.
Meeting ID: 823 1278 9936 Passcode: 529642
One tap mobile: +12532050468,,82312789936#,,,,*529642# US
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1. Introduction
“Good day, my name is _____ and I will be your moderator today. This meeting is for men who have been victims, perpetrators and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence.”
2. Serenity prayer: “Will all who care to join me in the serenity prayer?”
“God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
“You may mute and un-mute with the mute button on your screen or by pressing *6 if you’re on the phone. If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted.”
3. Read the Preamble for Violence Anonymous
4. Read or ask a Volunteer to read: A word to newcomers (it’s on the Resources page too)
5. Read how it works
6. Member Introduction
“At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.”
Week 1: Step Meeting for that month with step speaker who has worked that step in VA. (If no one at the meeting has worked that step in VA, we read the step from And So We Begin [VA 12 Step book].)
– After the speaker, move to shares (no additional reading)
– Business Meeting after Week 1 Meeting
Week 2, 4, 5: Open discussion after an Additional Reading.
Week 3: Member Share: what it was like, what happened, what it is like now for 10 minutes. (No Additional Reading)
7. Read one Additional Reading (except Weeks 1 & 3)
| Boundary Styles | Child Abuse (short) |
| Drama Triangle Roles (short) | Nurturing Children (short) |
| Tools of Violence Anonymous | Creator (short) |
| Drama Triangle (short) | Traditions (short) |
| Non Violence | Ways Violence Is Carried Out |
| Signs of Victimhood (short) | Promises of VA (short) |
8. Sharing/Cross Talk Statement
“Would someone be willing to be timekeeper?”
“This is a feedback meeting. We do not interrupt during another person’s share. We do not rescue by giving unsolicited advice. We do provide feedback for those who request it. If you would like feedback specific to something that you share in the meeting, please request it at the close of your share. Our group conscience states that we give feedback as it relates to working VA’s 12 Steps or is based on our experience of recovery in Violence Anonymous. Shares are 4 minutes in length with 3 minutes for feedback. When you are sharing, please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the ‘one- minute’ warning and say the word ‘time’.”
[Note: If a lot of guys are on the call, shares can be 3 minutes with a 1 minute warning – at the discretion of the Moderator. It might be a good idea to take a group conscience to see if there are objections to shorter sharing times.]
“If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted. You may mute and un-mute with the microphone button on your screen or by pressing *6 or the mute button on your phone. Please use the ‘Raise Hand’ feature if you would like to share. If you are on the telephone, dial *9 to do so. Who would like to share first?”
At 35 minutes past the hour announce: “If this is your first VA meeting, you are just coming back or are in your first 6 months of recovery, we would like to make sure that you get the support and feedback you need and reserve this time for you to share.”
9. 7th Tradition (At 10 minutes before the close of the meeting)
Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship.
Contributions may be made via PayPal by going to the 7th Tradition page on the website.
10. Tools
Read the Tools of Violence Anonymous.
“We take the next few minutes of the meeting for each person to share the tools they will use in the upcoming week to avoid playing the victim, rescuer and/or perpetrator.”
11. Contact Requests
“Now is the time for contact (phone #, email, Skype) requests. Please state who’s contact info you would like and we will exchange info after the closing of the meeting.”
12. VA Related Announcements
Now is the time for both VA and non-VA announcements. First are there any VA announcements that affect this meeting or VA as a whole? Are there any non-VA announcements about tools or outside resources that pertain to VA recovery?
13. VA Anniversaries
“Is anyone celebrating an anniversary of months or years of working the steps VA? Is anyone counting days 1-90?”
14. Closing
“The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time. The room will remain open after the meeting for fellowship. Will all who care to join me in the serenity prayer?”
15. Contact exchange and fellowship
Those persons whose contact info was requested can be shared now.