Sunday at 6:30 pm Central
This is a 1 hour 15 minute Zoom meeting.
Tap or click here to join
Meeting ID: 833 2377 1344 Passcode: Compassion
To join by phone, call 346 248 7799,
enter meeting ID 83323771344, passcode: 5233736760.
One tap mobile in USA: +12532158782,,83323771344#,,,,*5233736760#
Tap or click here for worldwide local phone numbers
(a zoom.us page).
1. Introduction
“Good day, my name is _____ and I will be your moderator today. This meeting is for persons who have been victims, perpetrators and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence.”
2. Silence & Serenity Prayer
“Will all who care to join me in a minute of silence for the violence in the world and those suffering from an addiction to violence, followed by the serenity prayer…”
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“You may mute and un-mute yourself with the microphone button on your screen. If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted. You also have the option to share your video image or not. We invite you to be as present as possible for this meeting. Please silence all devices, refrain from cross-talk and from using the chat for non-business purposes.”
3. Read (or ask a volunteer to) the Preamble for VA
4. Read or ask a Volunteer to read: A word to newcomers (it’s on the Resources page too)
5. Read How It Works
6. Member Introduction
“At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.”
7. The 5 Weekly Formats
Week 1: Step 1 Meeting
a. Read Step 1. “We will write for 10 minutes on how you are powerless over violence and your life has become unmanageable.”
b. 10 minutes for writing
d. “Our shares will focus on what we wrote.”
(go to #8 in the format)
Week 2: Tools Meeting
a. “This week is a tools meeting. Would someone volunteer to read Tools 1 through 9?”
b. “Is there someone who would like to share for 5 minutes on a tool of their choice? Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(After the speaker go to #8 in the format: Sharing.)
Week 3: Reading Week
Select or ask a volunteer to read one of the additional readings below. Shares can focus on that topic.
(go to #8 in the format)
Week 4: Tools Meeting
a. “This week is a tools meeting. Would someone volunteer to read Tools 10 through 18?”
b. “Is there someone who would like to share for 5 minutes on a tool of their choice? Is there someone who would be willing to be our timekeeper?”
(After the speaker go to #8 in the format: Sharing.)
Week 5: Reading week
Select or ask a volunteer to read one of the additional readings below. Shares can focus on that topic.
(go to #8 in the format)
Focus on one of these Additional Readings:
| Boundary Styles | Child Abuse (short) |
| Drama Triangle Roles (short) | Nurturing Children (short) |
| Tools of Violence Anonymous | Creator (short) |
| Drama Triangle (short) | Traditions (short) |
| Non Violence – NEW | Violence (short) |
| Signs of Victimhood (short) | Promises of VA (short) |
8. Sharing
Now is the time for individual sharing. We ask that there be no cross talk – which means that we keep the focus on ourselves, address our remarks to the group and not to any individual. Please refrain from making remarks during another person’s share, and save questions and comments for after the meeting. Explicit descriptions of violent action or thoughts can be triggering to other members of the meeting. Please refrain from sharing details about violence and put your focus on your powerlessness and the feelings that trigger the belief of victimhood. Shares are 3 minutes with a 1 minute warning. Please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the one minute warning and the word “time” at the end of your share. You may mute and un-mute with the microphone button on your screen, *6 on your phone, or the mute button on your phone. If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted. Who would like to share first?”
At about 10 minutes before the close of the meeting:
10. 7th Tradition
“Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship. PayPal contributions may be made on the 7th Tradition page on the VA website.”
11. Tools
(Read short form of the Tools of Violence Anonymous. Even on Tools meeting weeks)
“We take the next few minutes of the meeting for each person to share the tools they will use in the upcoming week to avoid playing the victim, rescuer and/or perpetrator.”
12. Contact Requests
“Now is the time for contact (phone #, email, skype) requests. Please state who’s contact info you would like and we will exchange info after the closing of the meeting.”
13. Closing
“The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.”
“The room will remain open after the meeting for fellowship.”
“Will all who care to join me in the Serenity Prayer?”
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
14. Contact exchange and fellowship
Those persons whose contact info was requested can be shared now.