Mondays at 10 AM CT
This is a Zoom meeting. Please obtain the passcode from other female members or request it here.
The meeting ID is 86104431684 (tap/click here to open Zoom, enter the passcode & join the meeting).
The primary US access number is 253-205-0468.
Click here for more Zoom phone numbers.
Meeting Format
1. Introduction
Hello, my name is _________ and I will be the moderator for this meeting today.
This is a meeting for people who identify as women who have been victims, persecutors and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence and are seeking support in their recovery.
We encourage every attendee to feel comfortable – therefore you can keep your camera on or off. The meeting is not recorded and anything that is said here is not repeated outside of the meeting.
2. Serenity prayer
Will all who care to please join me in opening the meeting with the serenity prayer?
“God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
3. Volunteer reads the Preamble for Violence Anonymous
4. Volunteer reads how it works
5. Member Introduction
At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.
In Zoom, if your phone number or email was visible when you came in, you may have been renamed to protect privacy. You can rename yourself by right clicking on your name and choosing rename only on a laptop or iPad. From a phone, this is not possible.
6. A word to newcomers (Read or ask for a volunteer. It is also on the Resources page.)
7. Topic
Does anyone have a topic or something that’s bothering them that they would like to hear discussed at the meeting today?
8. Sharing
Now is the time for individual sharing. We invite you to be as present as possible for this meeting. Please silence all devices, refrain from using the chat for non-business purposes. We encourage every attendee to feel comfortable. You can choose to have your camera on or off. But please do turn your camera off if you need to move around, have pets close by or if eating – as it may be distracting to others.
For People online, please unmute the mic icon to speak. People calling in, please star 6.
We ask that there be no cross talk – which means that we keep the focus on ourselves, address our remarks to the group and not to any individual. It also means that we refrain from making remarks during another person’s share, and save questions and comments for after the meeting. If you believe the crosstalk rule has been breached, you can ask the moderator to re-read the crosstalk guidelines. If you are unclear as to the meaning of crosstalk, please ask the moderator, after the meeting, for further clarification.
Explicit descriptions of violence and/or violent fantasies can be triggering to other members of the meeting. When sharing about violent fantasies, we put our focus on our powerlessness over the fantasy and the feelings that trigger the belief of victimhood. Please refrain from profanity which may also be triggering to other members.
Shares are 4 minutes in length. When you are sharing, please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the “one- minute” warning and say the word “time”.
May I please have a volunteer to be the time keeper today?
When keeping time, the timekeeper may, in addition to verbal cues, use the zoom timer and/or use a sign to alert online sharers.
Who would like to share? For people online, please unmute the mic icon. People calling in, please star 6 to unmute.
9. 7th Tradition (5 minutes before the end of the meeting)
Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship.
Contributions may be made on the 7th Tradition page on the website.
10. Announcements
Are there any VA announcements?
11. Contact Requests
Now is the time for contact requests (phone #, email, Skype). Please state whose contact info you would like and we will exchange info after the closing of the meeting.
12. Tools
We use the tools of VA to avoid playing the victim, rescuer and/or persecutor. At this meeting we read the titles of the tools before we close.
Volunteer Reads the Tools of Violence Anonymous (titles only)
13. Closing
The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this virtual room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.
The line will remain open after the meeting for fellowship and exchange of contact info.
I’d like to thank all those who shared and did service on the meeting today.
14. Serenity prayer
Will all who care to please join me in closing the meeting with the serenity prayer?
“God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
15. Contact Exchange, Non-VA Announcements and Fellowship
– Contact exchange
– Are there any Non-VA announcements?
– Fellowship.