Fridays at 9 PM CT
This is a 1.5 hour Zoom meeting.
Tap or click here to join
Meeting ID: 833 2377 1344 Passcode: Compassion
To join by phone, call 346 248 7799,
enter meeting ID 83323771344, passcode: 5233736760.
One tap mobile in USA: +12532158782,,83323771344#,,,,*5233736760#
Tap or click here for worldwide local phone numbers
(a zoom.us page).
1. Introduction
“Good day, my name is _____ and I will be your moderator today. This meeting is for persons who have been victims, perpetrators and/or rescuers in the cycle of violence.”
2. Silence & Serenity Prayer
“Will all who care to join me in a moment of silence for the violence in the world and those suffering from an addiction to violence, followed by the serenity prayer…”
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“You may mute and un-mute yourself with the microphone button on your screen or *6 on your phone. If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted. You also have the option to share your video image or not. We invite you to be as present as possible for this meeting. Please silence all devices, refrain from cross-talk and from using the chat for non-business purposes. The moderator will gently remind attendees as needed.”
3. Read (or ask a volunteer to) the Preamble for VA
4. Read or ask a Volunteer to read: A word to newcomers (it’s on the Resources page too)
5. Read the Non-Violent Communication Tool:
“We started this meeting to practice the Nonviolent Communication Tool of VA which states:
“We use Nonviolent Communication when listening and speaking. This form of communication allows us to identify and express our feelings and needs, and request help in meeting those needs. Using NVC liberates us, as we discover a way to relate to others while remaining free of the drama triangle. Practicing NVC creates the possibility of cooperative solutions that meet our needs and the needs of others. Nonviolent Communication deepens connections and cultivates authenticity and well-being in our lives.”
6. Read the VA 12 Steps (or ask a volunteer)
7. Member Introduction
“At this time we introduce ourselves by first name only. This is not to embarrass you, but to get to know you.”
Business Meeting is the 3rd Week of each month: Skip Creative & Learning parts, go to Business Meeting Short form for the format. Go straight to shares after the biz meeting (conclude at 45 min past).
8. Creative Expression Moment (up to 10 min: music, poetry, etc. presented by a member) – If no one has volunteered, and a volunteer cannot be found within a minute or two, feel free to skip this.
9. NVC Learning (5-15 min Someone shares what they learned from an NVC Certified Trainer) – If no one has volunteered, and a volunteer cannot be found within a minute or two, feel free to skip this.
10. Sharing: Ask for a timekeeper
“Now is the time for individual sharing. Please refrain from making remarks during another person’s share, and save questions and comments for after the meeting. In this meeting we practice our shares and feedback with Nonviolent Communication. We practice sharing our feelings and needs related to our life experience and recovery from the drama triangle. Feedback in this meeting is also guided by NVC. Our group conscience states that we listen to shares with non-judgmental observation in mind, listening for feelings and needs. Then we give reflective feedback, expressing the feelings and needs we heard, keeping it friendly, empathic, and fun. If you would like feedback to your share, please request it at the end of your share. Explicit descriptions of violent action or thoughts can be triggering to other members of the meeting. Please refrain from sharing details about violence and put your focus on your powerlessness and the feelings that trigger the belief of victimhood. If we get upset by what is shared we take responsibility for the feeling, and use the tools of VA to process the trigger and regain a neutral state of mind.
“Shares are 3 minutes with 5 minutes for feedback and response. Please acknowledge that you have heard the time keeper give the one minute warning and the word “time” at the end of your share and feedback time.
“You may mute and un-mute yourself by pressing the microphone button on your screen. If you are not sharing, please make sure that you are muted. Who would like to share first?”
11. 7th Tradition (10 Minutes before the 1.5 hour-mark)
Our 7th Tradition states that every VA group ought to be fully self supporting, declining outside contributions. We pass a virtual basket and ask that you give what you can. The funds are used to pay the expenses of the fellowship. Contributions may be made on the 7th Tradition page on the VA website. We’ll now give time for those who wish to make a contribution to find the 7th Tradition button on the VA website. Know that if you can’t give now, your presence is more important than your money. (Pause)
12. Announcements
Now is the time for both VA and non-VA announcements. Please keep announcements about information rather than conversation, saving questions for after the meeting.
First are there any VA announcements that affect this meeting or VA as a whole? Are there any non-VA announcements about tools or outside resources that pertain to VA recovery?
If there are not already volunteers or book reading: Would someone like to share a NVC Learning piece in the meeting next week? How about a creativity piece?
Our Business Meeting is during the 3rd meeting each month.
13. Closing
“The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time. The room will remain open after the meeting for fellowship. Will all who care to join me in the gratitude serenity prayer?”
“God thank you for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, thank you for the courage to change the things I can, and thank you for the wisdom to know the difference.”
14. Contact requests & Fellowship