Sobriety is defined by whether we “Act out” a trigger or use the Tools of VA to de-escalate, process the trigger, and remove ourselves from the drama triangle.
If we choose to respond to a trigger by pausing, processing and using the Tools, we are behaving in a VA sober way and freeing ourselves from believing we are a victim. If we choose to remain on the drama triangle our thoughts, words and actions are violent and therefore we are not sober.
Triggering is part of the recovery process. It helps us see and understand where our pain, trauma and limiting beliefs exist.
The Processing Triggers Tool tells us:
“When we are negatively triggered we are casting ourselves as victims. This puts us on the drama triangle, making it difficult to think, speak or act without causing harm. In recovery we recognize each trigger as a warning that we are at risk of behaving violently. We heed this warning, halt, and process the trigger before moving on.”
For more information on signs of being triggered, signs the trigger is processed, de-escalation techniques and trigger processing techniques refer to the processing triggers pamphlet.